Deborah Forte's Confrence
by AniDaLite
Summary: Complete with snippets from original AniTV scripts!


_It's a story of pain, of misery, and of endless suffering.. A story of an anger so great as to force heroes to throw their bodies across the TV set, lest their younger siblings are influenced by the Evil Darkness which we call -- The Writers Of AniTV_

This is their story. 

## Deborah Forte's Conference

The room was one of those nice big conference rooms with swivelly chairs, and an oblong black marble table in the middle. It could probably seat everyone. Plus, it came with tons of Madagascan Coffee -- her favorite.   
Deborah Forte spread out the paperwork in front of her swivel chair at the head of the table. She looked at it cluelessly for a moment, and then arranged it in a pretty fan pattern. 

~~~~

Deborah introduced herself as soon as all of the writers had been seated, and then went on to tell them the lucky break they had all had. "Merely 2 hours ago, Scholastic gave us all the rights to the Animorphs TV show!" She beamed.   
There was a polite smattering of applause, and everyone gave their own variation of a pleased smile.  
"Now then, we have some considerations to go over here -- I know that you all are upset about being woken up at 5:00 in the morning to do this, but I think we can all agree that this lovely conference room is worth it. First of all, the budget. 12 and a half million dollars for the first season!"  
After most of the thunderous applause had died down, a fairly well known young writer stood up in the corner of the room.  
"Where did you get that much money to be funded for a little kiddy book series?!"  
Deborah glared. "Don't call them 'kiddy'. I've read them myself!"  
In response to his horrified look, she shrugged slightly. "Well.. I've read one or two, actually."  
He raised an eyebrow at her.  
"OK, fine. I've skimmed over the first paragraph of the first book! But I'm sure it's a wonderful series. Now, here's Don Granger to discuss possibilities."  
An elderly guy stood up to the podium with a flushed face and a wide grin. "12.2 million dollars! I think we can all agree that with this money -- we can have the BEST series ever! We'll have ultra fancy computer graphics sprinkled around like snow in Alaska! We'll have the best actors money can buy! We'll have it all!"  
Deborah smiled faintly and rapped her fingers impatiently on the lovely black marble table. "Actually," she said, pushing him aside, "I spent most of the money on booking this conference room, and the Madagascan coffee. Isn't it delish?"  
The elderly man's face went pale. "How much do we have left, then?"  
She smiled warmly. "Don't worry! We still have about 500 dollars left for the first 3 seasons."  
Gapes appeared out of smiling faces.  
She paused and looked at the writers, concerned. "We'll skimp on the acting talent, special effects, time allotment, cameras, and of course the writing talent. No one will notice."  
A writer shrugged. "That sounds good to me.."  
The other writers mulled it over, and appreciative nods came forth from all corners of the room.  
Deborah beamed, and satisfied of a job well done, she went to the back for some more tasty Madagascaran Coffee to leave the writers to.. whatever it was that writers do.

------------------------------------

Deborah wandered back in, elated by the tangy darkness of the drink.  
"OK, I'm getting a vision here.. " A largish writer, Tom, stood up. " Picture this -- the hero spots a scantily clad woman, and to show his outstanding personality, we see him turning into a houseplant to cover her."  
The other writers thought it over.  
"Can they DO that?" asked Roger.  
Tom shrugged. "Hey, seeing a couple of naked women won't completely harm the little kidderinos."  
Roger blinked. "I thought you said ONE naked woman.."  
"Well.. If covering ONE naked woman shows he has an outstanding personality, just think of how amazingly outstanding his personality will be if he morphs into a houseplant to cover TWO of them!"  
The other writers nodded appreciatively.  
"But.. No, I mean, can the ANIMORPHS do that. I got the impression that they could only morph animals."  
Silence.  
Deborah thought this over for a moment. She shook his head and sighed. "OK, someone name two characters from the books."  
Tammy looked up quickly. "Um.. Bob and Linda?"  
"Dharma and Greg?"  
"Calvin and Hobbes?"  
"Garfield and Friends!"  
"Mary and Rhoda."  
Deborah grinned happily. "Those are all very good answers! I can tell we're dealing with a talented group of writers here." She beamed. "Start writing a scene individually, and then we'll see which scene we want to use as inspiration for the show!"

-----------------------------------

**Rick's Script**  
_Season One, Episode One, Scene Nine_

(OPEN onto an underground sewer)

Jake: Shhh.. Quiet!

(The ANIMORPHS make their way through the SEWER holding FUTURISTIC GUNS)

(a WORM sneaks up behind them)

Rachel: Yeeeeeeeeeiaiaiaiaiaiaia!

(RACHEL pulverizes the WORM with COOL NINJA MOVES)

Marco: Ultra cool!

Cassie: Anima-rific!

Jake: Mega neato!

(TOBIAS gives Rachel a HIGH FIVE with his WING)

**Tammy's Script**  
_Season One, Episode One, Scene 3_

(FADE to the ANIMORPHS sitting around in a BARN)

Rachel: So let's go kick yeerk butt! Kick yeerk butt, do you hear me, kick yeerk butt!

Marco: I think my mother might be a yeerk. I feel hurt, abandoned, and confused inside. How could you expect me to kick her butt?

Cassie: Oh no. I'm so sorry, Marco.

Marco: Wait a minute.. I still feel hurt, abandoned and confused, but somehow those words make me feel like there's.. like there's hope. 

Rachel: Thank you Marco, you've made me realize that I shouldn't be so ruthless, because there's hope out there.

Marco: You're welcome, Rachel.

(Cassie CRIES with EMOTION)

Cassie: Thank you guys. You've helped me come to terms with the fact that I am a Spiritual Person, and I should spend my life helping others. And I am a very good morpher.

Jake: Yes. You are a very good morpher. And I feel the burden of leadership.

(Everyone COMFORTS Jake and then they KICK YEERK BUTT. More MORAL ISSUES ensue.)

**Jeanette's Script**  
_Season One, Episode Three_

(Rachel FLIRTS with Tobias and it is HEARTWARMING)

Tobias: ...

(Rachel FLIRTS with Marco and it is ODD)

Marco:...

(Rachel FLIRTS with Jake and it is EXTREMELY AWKWARD)

Jake:...

Rachel: Hey, Ax, come a little closer.!

Ax: Bring it ON, baby! 

**Bob's Script**  
_Season One, Episode1_

Tobias: I'm lonely and poor, yet I can afford a leather jacket for some reason. Oh yes, and I'm going to foreshadow a lot. 

(Tobias FORESHADOWS OMINOUSLY)

Rachel: I'm ruthless and wear stupid clothes, which is really a sign of good fashion sense!

Cassie: I'm mysteriously absent from too many of the episodes to have a personality, so I just use THIS!  
(holds up her very own Personality In A Box(c))

Jake: Hmm? What? Is this where I'm supposed to give the Burden Of Leadership speech?

Marco: Yo, homies!

(Ax STANDS STILL while looking like a MUPPET)

Director: OK, enough character development!

(The characters STOP developing and the COMPUTER PEOPLE go crazy with some BAD MORPHING SCENES) 

**Nina's Script**  
_Season One, Ep. 6_

Ax: Hi, I'm Aximili, and even though you don't know me at all, will you initiate me into your little group and have me fight beside you and stuff because I'm Elfangor's son, even though I'm an muppe-- er, Andalite that looks just like Visser Three and you have no reason to assume otherwise?

The Animorphs: Okay.

Ax: Now I shall make crappy echoey thoughtspeak that asks various questions about earth every 5 minutes just to make sure the audience has not forgotton me!

The Animorphs: And will you armwrestle with Visser Three instead of tail fight?

Ax: Uh-huh.

The Animorphs: Cool.

(They FIGHT, and V3 and Ax ARM WRESTLE)

Cassie: Now I'm going to recite a moral about friendship that sounds like something straight out of Barney. 

(She DOES and it SUCKS) 

**Roger's Script**  
_Season One, Episode 2, Scene 5_

(OPEN to a flashy MORPHING scene)

Rachel: Oh no! I can not stand the sight of seeing my own face mutating!

Marco: Are you sure it didn't always look like this?

(Pause for CANNED LAUGHTER)

Jake: Haha! That Marco! You're hilarious!

Marco: So's your old man!

(everyone LAUGHS some more)

Rachel: Ha! Ha! Now I'll swing off a cute comment.

Marco: And I shall make a sarcastic remark.

Rachel: And then shall we shall engage in this match of wits until the next commercial break?

Marco: Yes, we shall.

(they DO and it is UNBELIEVABLY BORING)

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Deborah paused, looking over all of the scenes. "I don't know," she mulled, "these are all so good."  
Tammy squinted in her compact mirror as she touched up her makeup by applying a few more pounds of lipstick. She nodded distractedly. "Yes, I thought the emotional impact of my scene in particular was very touching. Very much for family entertainment and even -- oh DAMN! I got some on my teeth!"   
Rick nodded, trying very hard to avoid watching Tammy lick her teeth in distress. "But we need action! Lots of it.. And fun words."  
Deborah nodded thoughtfully. "Fun words like..?"  
Rick shrugged as he fumbled with his pencil. "Oh, I don't know. Animarific.. Funtastic.. Yeerked.."  
"Yeerked," Tammy muttered.. "Yeerked. I like it."  
Deborah clasped her hands together in glee. "Oh, I can't decide! Let's base the show on all of them!"  
And there was much rejoicing.

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End file.
